When it comes to weddings, gratuity is one of those details couples often don’t think about until the very end. And by then, it can feel stressful or confusing. Who do we tip? How much? What’s expected?
Here’s my best advice: gratuity doesn’t have to feel complicated. Think of it as another way to say thank you, to the people who helped bring your day to life.
First Things First: Check Your Contracts
Many venues and catering teams automatically include gratuity in their contracts. Before you budget extra, read the fine print. Sometimes that “service charge” line already covers gratuity for servers or bartenders.
Who to Tip (and How Much)
Here are some general guidelines. Remember, these aren’t rules. They’re suggestions to help you feel confident and prepared.
Officiant
- Guideline: Expected
- Amount: $50–$100 tip, or $100–$500 donation to their church/house of worship.
Note: Many clergy members won’t accept money directly, if that’s the case, donate to their church instead.
Photographer & Videographer
- Guideline: Optional
- Amount: 5–10% of the package, or $50–$100.
If they’re the business owner, gratuity isn’t expected—but always appreciated if they went above and beyond.
Catering, Waitstaff, & Bartenders
- Guideline: Expected, but often included in the contract.
- Amount: 15–20% of the food & beverage total (before tax and fees).
- Bartenders: 10–20% of the liquor bill, or $1–$2 per guest.
- Coatroom: $1 per guest.
- Valet: $1–$2 per car.
Tip jars for bartenders are sometimes allowed, sometimes not—check your venue’s rules.
Band or DJ
- Guideline: Optional but appreciated.
- Amount: $25–$35 per musician, $100–$400 for a DJ.
Drivers & Transportation
- Guideline: Expected.
- Amount: 10–20% of the total bill.
Many companies include this automatically, always double check before adding extra.
Cake Baker & Florist
- Guideline: Optional.
- Amount: $50–$100, or a small gift.
You might consider tipping their delivery or setup crew instead. Another great option is a heartfelt thank-you card or glowing online review.
Planning Team
- Guideline: Optional.
- Amount: 10–15% of the package price for a lead planner, or $50–$150 for assistants.
Business owners (like me) don’t expect tips but assistants who worked hard to make your day seamless always appreciate it.
Final Thoughts
Gratuity isn’t about checking boxes, it’s about appreciation. At the end of the day, your heartfelt words, a kind review, or even a thoughtful note can mean just as much as a tip.
My advice? Plan for gratuity early in your budget, prepare envelopes in advance, and then let me handle the rest. That way, you get to spend your wedding day doing what matters most, being present with the people you love.
